I’ve been really restless lately. I believe it stems from acting class and finally, FINALLY, acting again, and being around some great new people and actors. So suddenly my simple job, which a monkey can do, has suddenly taken a turn these past two weeks.
I just want to audition. And act. And be around intelligent people who don’t assume I’m an idiot. Ya.
If there’s anything I’ll get defensive about, and will fight back on, no matter who you are, or how much of a bitch I’ll be perceived to be-it would involve the following subjects: gay rights, animal rights, and the misconception that ALL actors are stupid.
I am shaking just thinking about that, actually.
So what was the catalyst to this venting? At work yesterday this really sweet coworker and I were chatting (this is where I got in trouble, as well, by my manager) about our lives. He was asking me general questions, “Where you from?…What movies do you like?” etc. etc. So then comes the inevitable weird conversation when I reply, “I’m an actor.”
The conversation will then take a turn.
“Ooo cool. So have you, like, done anything?”
“No not really yet. I mean I have a degree in Theatre and have done mostly theatre-”-oh, that’s it?”
“Well I’ve been performing my whole life, so, uh ya and I grew up in LA, so I’m not some fresh off the boat person…so I’m just trying to build up my film resume right now.”
“Oh wait so you got your degree in theatre?”
“Ya. It’s important to have a good education if you want to be an actor.”
“Oh really??”
“Um ya. I also studied a lot of writing and history. I love history. Oh and philosophy. If I had minored in anything I would have done some combination of those.”
“Oh ya I didn’t know know you had to be smart to be an actor.”
“YES. Yes you do. You have to have a brain. A damn good one. Well-if you want to be a GOOD actor.”
“Oh haha ya I guess.”
“Ya there’s a big misconception with that thought process. You think Meryl Streep is an idiot? Clint Eastwood. What a fucker. Can’t even count to ten.”
“Oh ya ok. Well good luck with that business.”
“Ya thanks. It’s hard but it’s the one thing I’m passionate about…soo…”
And then shit is just awkward. And I’m on the verge of tears.
And I just hate it because I’m not a bitch. I’m a really genuinely nice person who is genuinely interested in other people. And I know sometimes it’s not people’s faults for why they think things…but….SHIT. It makes me feel two inches tall. It makes me feel like every trying time in my life has been for nothing. And I know they don’t know that and it’s nothing against them. But I can’t help getting offended. And I guess I do think it’s a little naive.
Just imagine when the ONE thing you care about most is perceived as, simply, DUMB. A fucking squirrel could do it.
As Howard says, “A guy doesn’t show up at a hospital and say, ‘I’m a surgeon! Give me the scalpel!’ with out even having gone to med school.”
That’s what a lot of people think of acting. You have to be trained. You have to be a certain type of person to deal with the industry and be able to deal with yourself.
Oh god…
Anyway…that’s it. I’m done. This has just been happening a lot. I’m just sick of trying to prove my intelligence to people. I need a drink…
-Rose
