Why does my apartment smell like poo?

ahhh it’s a new day in lovely L.A. Today Jordan and my apartment suddenly has spewed the lovely odor of uh sewage? to the point where we had to leave because I started gagging as I attempted to wash my face where the thick stench had made it’s home.

My apartment is like a Payless Shoe. It may look nice initially, it was cheep, people (for no reason) praise that it’s new! and it’s cheap! and screw you Nordstroms! But as soon as you put it on your foot, your feet cry. I defy anyone to tell me Payless is worth anything. Life is short. Wear a comfy shoe that won’t break in two. Anyway…my apartment is just this. Awesome location. *New* appliances! Oh, but wait. After the carbon monoxide scare, luckily the gas man looked at our heater, which apparently if we had turned it on, we would have then experienced gas poisoning because it was improperly installed.

There was also the incident on the morning I decided to be awesome and go on a run (an actor must keep her figure) and come home and put a hair mask in my hair and take a shower and get all gorgeous. Maybe go look for employment. So I walk into the bathroom, sticky, sweaty, a gorgeous mess-turn on the shower nob…to find…no water coming out. Shower. Broken. Ok. um. I’ll take a sponge bath.

Cut to:

Jordan walking in on me leaning over the bathroom sink in a sports bra with greasy wet hair and a bleeding elbow that I cut when shaving.